Some of us found out lying in the hospital after the birth of our child.  Some found out later, after we discovered our child wasn’t developing quite right.  However the news was delivered, it is a difficult blow to take.  Having a doctor or psychologist say that our child has some sort of delay feels like our dreams for our family have been shattered.  We feel lost and alone.  And when we do start to rally and learn about our child’s condition, it feels overwhelming.  There’s too much information out there to sort through.  We feel guilty because we are not doing enough, even though many of us do so much more than parents of “normal” children do. 

If you are getting this newsletter, you have already made significant steps in your journey with your child.  You have gotten your child’s condition identified and she is receiving special help she needs to succeed in school and life.   Nevertheless, parenting is sometimes a tough road and it can feel make you feel lonely and sad to watch so many of your friends’ children developing at a faster pace than your child.

Parents of children with special needs often say that feeling isolated is a significant problem in their lives.  It’s hard to get together with friends when their children may not want to play with your child.  Simple activities, like a playdate in the park, may turn into a nightmare if your child has behavioral problems.  Your child may be frail and unable to participate in many children’s games.  Even family members can contribute to your sense of isolation by their lack of understanding.   

Whatever the reason for feeling alone, you can do something to help alleviate this problem.  You can get to know other parents of children with special needs by joining a support group in your area.  The Family Support Committee offers a monthly support group called “Changed by a Child (see below).”  There are also support groups for fathers, Down’s Syndrome, Autism and many more (see back page).  

If you find it difficult to attend a meeting, we also offer the Parent to Parent Network.   Parents who call will get matched with one of our trained volunteer parents.  Just having another person to talk to can be a real help, but this “veteran” parent may be able to answer some of your questions. Call Jan at 612-668-5174 to get started. 

Finally, telling your story can be a very therapeutic activity.  Long after I thought I was over my grief, I was shocked by how much emotion was stirred by writing down my story.  It really helped me to relive the days of diagnosis and the dark time that followed it, because I was able to see how far I had come since then.

This year, the Family Support Committee will be starting a new initiative called “The Story Project.” We want parents to tell us their story in whatever way they feel most comfortable.  Write your story down, videotape it, or come to our story-gathering event this winter.  We want to hear from you.