Do others stare at your child because he or she looks different?  Maybe folks purposely ignore your child and only talk to you because your child is using a wheelchair.  When you are the parent of a child with special needs, the reactions of others to your child are sometimes hard to take. 

If your child doesn’t have a visible disability, you might face a different kind of challenge: the disapproving stares or comments from others when your child is throwing a tantrum.  Maybe your child laughs inappropriately and hysterically or has a physical tick that draws stares.  None of these situations are comfortable for parents, but some of us endure them every day. 

When we overreact or get very upset, our children may sense this and become more anxious themselves.  If we are able to stay calm, they may deal better with these situations.  Rather than getting angry at an inappropriate comment, it is often better to brush off the remark and move on.

Saying this, I also know how very difficult it can be sometimes to “keep it together” when your child misbehaves in public or when someone says something hurtful to you.  I have endured the very humbling experience of a full-blown, shoe-throwing, box-hurling tantrum in the middle of a shoe store.  On a different occasion, after my 5-year-old son flipped a baby over in a pool for no apparent reason, the mom looked at me with disgust and said, “He should know better by this age.”  I was mortified.  Some days it’s hard not to have a bit of a tantrum yourself.  Other days, I was able to stay calm enough to keep my focus on what my child needed to get through the situation.

Whether your child has a visible or invisible disability, parenting a child with special needs sometimes means developing a thick skin.  Strangers have no idea what challenges you face every day.  You have a unique strength and wisdom.  Remind yourself of this often.  You know your child as no one else does and understand how truly special he or she is.   Brag to others about your child’s beautiful brown eyes or loving personality or mischievous spirit so that others can get beyond your child’s disability and really get to know your wonderful child.  Special kids really do need special parents.